#81
Shorty and I went to a friend?s house party last Saturday night. At the end of the party, our friend who was hosting it gave us this.
It was a jar with some little fish (guppies) in them.
Me: Nah Shorty, you said you always wanted a pet. You take care of it.
Shorty: What? I want a pet as in a dog. Not fish.
Me: Never mind this is good practice for you to see whether you can take care of a pet or not.
Shorty: Fine?.
After dinner the next day
Me: *Looks at jar* Hey how come I can?t find the fish?. hmmm?. HOLY CRAP? MAN DOWN MAN DOWN.
Shorty: What what?
Me: THE FISH ARE DEAD!! AT LEAST ONE OF THEM !
Shorty: WHAT?!?! *runs over*
Me: SHIT SHIT SHIT what do we do? Let me ask my friends what they did with theirs ?*messages friends in WhatsApp group who also got fish from the party*
Shorty: OH NO!! Maybe they?re hungry. What can I feed them?
Me: How about bread?
Shorty: OK!!! *drops small pieces of bread into it*
Me: *while looking at WhatsApp messages* MY FRIEND SAY IT?S NOT FOOD. They say it?s because they no air that?s why they?re floating near the top. We need a small pump.
Shorty: Where are we supposed to get that?!
Me: Ya I know I told them shops are closed already!
Shorty: Can we just blow air into the water with a straw?
Me: They said cannot. My friend Rob said take it out of the jar and put it in a bigger bowl.
Shorty: OK!!! ?*takes out chopstick*
Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! YOU?RE GOING TO PICK UP THE FISH WITH A CHOPSTICK??
Shorty: Ok ok I use spoon*uses spoon to take them out of the jar and into a pail of water*. Ok they look better now!
Me: Ok Rob say we can put it in a pond somewhere. We can go to his house and put in his pond.
Shorty: OKOK!
Me: But he say he?s going to bed already! Crap let me call Pierre.
Me: *calls Pierre* Hello?
Pierre: Hello brother! Why so kan cheong about the fish?
Me: Dude one of them died already. I have another 4 left. I can?t let them die.
Pierre: Dude? it?s like Ikan Bilis.
Me: I know but I can?t let anything die on my watch. No matter how small.What did you do to yours?
Pierre: I don?t know. I gave my maid and asked her to take care of it. Let me check if they?re still alive. Call you back.
5 minutes later
Pierre: Hello? Ya they?re all still in the jar but all ok.
Me: Ok can I just come over and drop it in your jar.
Pierre: HAHA ok sure.
Me: SHORTY! We go Pierre?s house and drop the fish off with him!
Shorty: HAR? Why not Rob? I think they will die in Pierre?s hands.
Me: Heard that Pierre?
Pierre: *still on the phone* Yes I heard that. I?m not going to let her into my house when she comes.
Me: Pierre said he won?t let you into his house when you come.
Shorty: HAHA! Kidding kidding.
Me: OK Pierre I come now. See you! *hangs up*
In the car on the way to Pierre?s house
Me: This Shorty huh? really cannot take care of pets huh. Want a dog some more. Some more these are guppies? the most hardy. Not even asking you to take care of goldfish or koi.
Shorty; HEY HEY I wasn?t ready mah. I didn?t have the equipment and wasn?t prepared to suddenly take care of the fish.
Me: Well you had today to do it but you didn?t.
Shorty: Don?t make me feel worse than I already do.
Me: Well ok fine. If it makes you feel better, Pierre said it?s ok la? it?s like Ikan Billis what.
Shorty: Haha you know when I was looking for things to feed them I opened our fridge and thought of feeding them some Ikan Billis.
Me: That would be cannibalism for them Shorty.
At Pierre?s House
Me: What did you do to your fish? How come they?re not dying.
Pierre: Ya man my fish look so happy. See! The only thing my maid did was put some steamed rice into it.
Me: That?s all?
Pierre: Ya man? give them the good basmati rice treatment. See now I put your fish with mine in my jar they look so happy!
On the way home from Pierre?s house
Shorty: Whew? I?m so tired. Saving a life is tiring.
Me: Well technically we didn?t really save a life. I mean we put our fish in a life threatening situation then took them out of it. We didn?t really save them. We were the cause of them nearly dying, or one of them actually dying.
We lost one small fish but the rest of the fish are resting safely in Pierre?s house with his fish now.
Pierre just sent me the following messages.
Source: http://timothytiah.com/2013/01/13/things-shorty-fatty-say-81-how-to-save-a-life/
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